Mostly I Use Text to Send Messages
May 22, 2011
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Since I wrote the famous “mortgage-slut” column on Public Address, I’ve seen a lot of perfectly reasonable people talking about the messages clothing sends, and how careful you should be about how you dress in case you send the wrong message. It happened over Boob-Quake, and again over SlutWalk. Covering your boobs up is just a reasonable precaution, in case they start semaphoring people.
Maybe there’s something to it, though, at a very basic level. If you’d assume that someone is going swimming if they’re wearing togs, maybe there are other things that people can genuinely deduce from clothing. What could people learn just from looking at the way I’m dressed? And there are a few things. You could tell, for instance:
- I have been in the garden
- I work from home
- You have arrived at my house before ten in the morning
- Megan heavily influences some of my shopping decisions
- I have cats
- I have been drinking
- I am holding my shoulders like this so my dress doesn’t fall off, and no you can’t look behind me
- I really like purple
What you can’t tell from my clothes, however, is whether or not I am Up For It*. So I guess there’s no way you could possibly find out.
*Apparently, the first time I snogged my current partner, I was wearing bunny ears and a tail. As I don’t remember this happening, however, it’s not admissible as evidence.