Banter in the Garden
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Tea and Strumpets
(First, an apology. Because of Reasons, there will be no Porn Tuesday this week. Next week. I promise.)
Over at the other place, I’ve been having a go at changing the conversation around SlutWalk. And the discussion has me wondering if there’s actually anything women could be told in “rape prevention” classes – as opposed to “how to ensure you don’t get raped”, which is impossible. These are suggestions, feel free to add or object.
– Don’t rape people.
– Don’t pressure anyone into having sex they don’t want. (In the Durex surveys, about 30% of men report having had sex when they didn’t want to. Pretty sure they’re not all gay.)
– Don’t make bitchy comments about other women on the basis of the (perceived) amount of sex they have.
– If you see something that looks like sexual harassment, step up. Yeah, you might get yelled at, but at least try an “Excuse me, are you okay?” Remember, not all sexual harassment looks like a man being an arsehole to a woman.
– If your friend tells a funny funny rape joke, tell them to STFU and stop being such a twatcock.
– If one of your workmates likes to play Sexual Harassment, tell on them.
– Whether in RL or online, if there’s a discussion on victim-blaming going on, and you have spoons to spare, step up.
The list of tips for men, of course… looks exactly the same. I will note, though, that a couple of times, (and I think I actually mean twice) I’ve been out with a male friend, been sexually harassed, turned to my companion and said, “Dude, wtf? Why aren’t you helping?” And his response has quite genuinely been “With what?”