Hey, ladies! Did you know, your boobs can drive men “crazy”? All by such simple techniques as pressing them against glass and applying lipstick with them?
But come on, The Frisky, why stop there? My boobs, recently described as “the size of small planets” can do so much more than drive men crazy. I like to get them to fix me a martini on a cool evening. They’re incredibly useful as a place to write reminders to myself. And, of course, you can use them to stop traffic, get out of fines, earn a promotion.
And why stop there? I’m sure, if they put their minds to it, my boobs could write a novel. They find simple equations pretty easy, so I am trying to work them up to higher maths. Why stop at sexual pleasure, and that trivial giving babies nourishment thing! Make your tits work for their keep. That empty space on your chest shouldn’t be rent free.
[Updated: Per Xanthippe’s excellent comment, what could he be doing with his ‘bollocks’ to drive you crazy? A good line in gift wrapping? We need a list of 10]