The Lady Garden

Tea and Strumpets

Quickie: Men Tell Us Things

Following along from the piece we linked to in Saturday’s post about misogynist abuse online, my girlcrush Sady Doyle started the Twitter hashtag #mencallmethings.

It’s vaguely related to the whole Robyn Malcolm #evilrobyn Vitriolic Savaging thing, too, what with that also being about OH NOES A WOMAN SPOKE HER MIND!!1!

One of the things we have tried to do here at TLG is foster a supportive and open comments policy, what with all the talking about sex. If you’ve read the comments policy, you’ll know that what that means is we can take forthright and strident, but we won’t accept abusive and downright nasty. That’s meant a couple of bannings, and deleting some comments.

Anyway, the hashtag thread is triggering, but immensely powerful, so if you have the spoons, drop on by.

Also worth reading is Sady’s post, on why she started it.

[Update: I’ve been thinking about this a little more, and what is most annoying about this thread, and the number of articles and posts now associated with it, is the sheer predictability of the response. You get “all men aren’t like this, why are you saying we are?” “you should call the police” “you should just ignore it” “woman up”. All of which misses the point that abuse and threats are designed to silence us.]

2 responses to “Quickie: Men Tell Us Things

  1. Deborah November 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    I took a look at the hashtag, and it was awful. Also full of tehmenz explaining that it wasn’t them. Well, yes, we know that #notallmen do that, but that’s kind of missing the point. The point is that while everyone who dares to have an opinion on the internet gets abuse for it, there is an extra dimension to the abuse that is handed out to women. PZ Myers makes the point:

    Being a woman on the internet

    As a man, I can get threats for speaking against some cherished dogma, which I can sort of halfway understand, but I don’t get the threats for just being of my sex and speaking out, period.

    I also don’t get much in the way of sexual threats, except for one telling class of insults: the ones that accuse me of being a woman. Vox Day is one of the milder practitioners of this habit: he refers to me as “Pharyngurl”, because after all, it’s demeaning to just reference me as a woman. I’ve had other, nastier messages where I’ve been called a “bitch” and threatened with anal rape, for instance; it’s as if they are first metaphorically translating me into a female so they can then really degrade me thoroughly.

    So I get a faint echo of the female experience, and it’s utterly repulsive. As we’re beginning to see as more and more women speak out, the wretchedness is being more thoroughly exposed.

    Okay…. counting 3…2…1… until someone comes along to explain this to us.

    • Craig Ranapia November 8, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      I won’t – but isn’t it funny and depressing than men who troll feminist blogs seem to inevitably bust the “why are you so ANGRY! You harm your own cause by being ANGRY!” de-rail.

      Two part answer:
      1) Because you’ve been warned, repeatedly, not to be a patronising douche-canoe towards women discussing their experience of rape/domestic violence/sexual harassment etc.

      2) And, just perhaps, people are getting angry at you because your crappy attitude should enrage anyone with a grain of human decency.

      Owning your own bullshit. It’s not rocket science..

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