The Lady Garden

Tea and Strumpets

Sharing the love on Christmas Eve

A bumper Christmas edition of things we liked, or didn’t like, from around the internet this week.

Yet another “what is sex-positive feminism” link, yet another Clarisse Thorn link: Interview with a Sex-Positive Feminist.

If some random person says I’m a broken human being because I’m into BDSM, that’s easier to bear than if another feminist says that — or even worse, if another feminist tells me that I’m a bad feminist or that I’m betraying other women or that I can’t possibly know what I want, all because of my sexual identity.

More from Feministe: Merry Christmas, victim blamers!

Jo’s moving and incredibly brave post about her assault. (Trigger Warning for sexual assault.)

The Fug Girls take on Vogue’s slightly annoying styling of Meryl Streep. Because at 62, she’s too freaking old to be editorial.

On Hitch, and why few women have been eulogising him.

The Women’s Flat Track Derby Association is implementing a new policy on gender in derby. Here‘s one woman’s story.

What happens when a woman is murdered by her partner. Oh, if she happens to be a sex worker, that is.

Apparently, there’s this thing called the reverse gender gap! In a stunning year end summation of women in 2011, the NY Times does its darndest to tell us that everything is OK! Women are equal! You can start shaving your legs again, because feminism is over. Because, um, “increasingly, if by no means yet the majority, women bring home the bacon while husbands or male partners take care of an ever greater share of the domestic front.” Also, young women are sometimes earning more than men and getting better educmacations! That’s it ladies. We can hang up our megaphones! The fight is over. Oh. Unless you happen to already be poor, that is. Also, really? REALLY? All this talk of strides women have made, in a “where are women now” article, and NO mention of SlutWalk? Really?

Curating safe spaces on the internet.

I’m actually quite comfortable with making privileged people uncomfortable, because my job isn’t to comfort them. My job is to facilitate a space where people can participate safely in a discussion and know that the chances of being marginalised, dismissed, attacked, and abused are greatly reduced because there’s a responsible person at the helm looking out for them.

Some words on male geeks (or nerds, or whatever your preferred terminology is): Don’t be a creeper and Nerds and Male Privilege. (Full Disclaimer: I (Tallulah) have a Bit of A Thing about Leia’s bikini. But then, I’m weird.

Meanwhile, the US girl scouts take on science. With Lego! (via @envirotainment):

That situation’s not going to change unless something radical happens in the way we are preparing our youth, particularly the girls who have so much talent and who are so easily dissuaded from being part of the science, technology, engineering and math disciplines because of gender bias at an early age

Teaching gender differences.

This is very very cool.

Fifty years since Sex And The Single Girl. (Listen to the piece if you can.)

One of our delightful commenters suggested last week that in my post about Garth George, I(Tallulah) should tone down my language. I think I told him to bite me. Because we “crazy feminists” have to stand up for ourselves sometimes. Tom Matlack doesn’t seem to understand that, and it’s why the Good Men Project is off my reading list. (It was never really on it, except for the occasional drive by, in fairness.) But Hugo Schwyzer has a brilliant piece on why it’s now off his list too.

…Don’t scare them off, because too much impassioned feminism is scary for guys.”  And you know, as exasperating as it is, this kind of silencing language almost always works. Time and again, I’ve seen it work to silence women in the classroom, or at least cause them to worry about how to phrase things “just right” so as to protect the guys and their feelings.  It’s a key anti-feminist strategy, even if that isn’t the actual intent of the men doing it — it forces women to become conscious caretakers of their male peers by subduing their own frustration and anger.

(Though, it’s worth pointing out, Hugo Schwyzer himself is not exactly uncontroversial, as can be seen on the comments of this Feministe post.)

And because at The Lady Garden, we love pressies and fripperies and having fun, in all sorts of ways, take a look at The 5 Best Toys of All Time. I (Deb) want the first one, for my garden.

Merry Christmas darlings, have some jewels.

Oh, and because it’s Xmas, one more. You can not beat a gif of a cat falling off a balcony. Tallulah defies you not to laugh. (via here)

4 responses to “Sharing the love on Christmas Eve

  1. homepaddock December 24, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Apropos of the five best gifts – I’d add a sixth: water.

  2. Pingback: The five best toys of all time « Homepaddock

  3. Dan December 27, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    That cat gif was amazing. The more I watched it the funnier it got.

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