The Lady Garden

Tea and Strumpets

No, you are, dick.

Something wierd is going on at Stuff. I don’t want to alarm anyone, but in the past week, they’ve published three, count them, three not-offensive columns related to women. One Two Three.

Now, Stuff being Stuff, the usual rules apply. DON’T READ THE COMMENTS. I managed to avoid the comments on the first two – because I don’t care to read (in the case of the sexual violence column) hysteria over BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN and FALSE RAPE CLAIMS and LESBIANS ARE ABUSIVE TOO.

However, on the How to Spot a Misogynist column, I read them, so you don’t have to. And how you spot them? Simply look down below the column, to where the comments are.

The reason I read them is because actually, the comments are hilarious, if you have the energy. This is a group of people who really, truly, do not understand irony. Here’s a tip, folks. If you preface a sentence with “I’m not a racist/sexist/pig, but…”, odds are, you’re about to say something objectionable. Also, the OMG this chick is so angry comments? This is one of the calmest, most rational pieces of feminist writing, like EVER. (Clem’s, not mine, clearly.)

So. Let’s look at some of the choice pickings, shall we?

From (probably not our) Emma:

….you need to do what every other sucessful and happy woman and man I know does, and ignore the remaining few imbeciles who make such assertions and instead, highlight the successes of the present, celebrate the fact that women are different from men (and that this is a great thing for both women and men) and focus your efforts on spreading the love, rather than refreshing the hate.

Gosh. I am sorry. I forgot that we successful women are to have nothing to do with “other” women, and should just focus on ALL THE GOOD PRETTY THINGS. And dudes. Forget the massive inequalities women face, reproductive rights, gender-based violence. Just shut up and love everyone. OMGAMIRITE?

From: Alan_Wilkinson

I’ll believe women are oppressed when I don’t hear them complaining.

So, because we have voices we can’t possibly be oppressed. See #1 one of the article, If you want to see real oppression, go to the Middle East. The point, I think you missed it.

From Joseph:

I was raised to be “a gentleman”. That probably reflects the age in which I grew up – chivalry doesn’t seem to be fashionable these days. I was told that I should open doors for women and let them go first, offer them my seat on the bus, pull out their chairs at the table, remain standing until all the women in the room were seated, all that stuff. It was my mother who taught me these things. Obviously she was a misogynist and passed these tendencies on to me.

Nah, it’s called politeness, loser. That’s really what your mother was teaching you.

From Unfair:

 “I have always found it interesting that the English language has a word like misogynist but not for the gender reversed noun/adjective.”

Um. You mean misandry?

From Peter Ashford:

Take item 3 about domestic servitude. Some people have attitudes like that for religious reasons (God tells them that women do dishes, men do hunting or some such). That may be an archaic or misguided point of view but I’m not sure if it constitutes hating women. An old fashioned woman who sticks with an undeserving husband and accepts outmoded gender roles is just old fashioned, not a hater of women.

Yes, because no religion could ever be accused as being misogynist. And OH! It’s just that they’re old fashioned. Oh, well, that’s OK then. I didn’t know. I thought that living in the 21st century meant I wouldn’t have to put up with 19th century attitudes. Fuck. I’ll just go get into my corset. At least my tits will look amazing.

Waldo wants us to know that this thing we’re fighting for isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Equality means you get just as much BS & mocking as everyone else without complaining about it.

Cos, shut up ladies, and stop your moaning. Being a man, or part of any dominant group is hard, what with walking all over the backs of the oppressed. I turned my ankle on one of them the other day!

Michael, says

I am suprised that the rantings of a misandrist are still being published

Could you talk to “Unfair” and explain the meaning of misandry? Also, could you explain it to yourself? And then explain to me where in the column it says “This applies to all men.”

Jabu is a peach. He’s worried about us ladeez and the man drought.

Women are definitely equal to men in all aspects of our modern world. Just without the benefit of reason and accountability….But sometimes its worth reflecting on why some traditional values were deemed approriate at certain times, before throwing your man to the lions. I certainly hope the next time you have a burglar banging round down stairs, if infact you have a man CLEMENTINE, you let him sleep soundly while you pop down and see him off. I suspect your attitude and the fact that helen clark was the face to our nation is partly responsible for the influx of internet brides in a country faced with severe man drought

Course she doesn’t have a man, dude. She’s clearly a hairy-legged lesbian. All feminists are dontchaknow. How’s that for reason and accountability. Also, you totally stole that line from As Good As It Gets. Way to be original. Dick.

Speaking of, here’s Thomas.

This is the sorta clap-trap that gives women a bad name in the first place. Why is it something that has worked comfortably for millions of years has to change just because some chick learns how to wear a pair of pants with a fly in the front? Things are good as they are, if you want more pay, work harder. If you don’t want to be a stay at home mum, find a new partner with life-views that align closer to your own, if you don’t want to get raped, don’t walk down dark streets at night by yourself while drunk. ez pz

Did you even read the column, Thomas? Because you’re the poster child for MISSING THE FUCKING POINT and inadvertently proving it.

Dave was doing so well until the last sentence:

All of these points are moot points. The point is women are still begging men for equality. The only reason women have any kind of equality at the moment is because men let them. This will always be the case until they take charge of their lives themselves and stop relying on misogynist men.

Yeah, cos you women, you should shut up and be happy with your lot, or Take Action. But don’t Take Action against us, cos we’re really nice, honest. it’s those other guys. I’m not one of them!
On the other hand, Antipodean is:

Sucks to be you!! Too bad arguments against misogynists won’t stop them or there influence. You’ve been relegated to spewing out your anti-man penis-hating diatribe in an electronic advice column on a news website that services a tiny country on the backside of the world. Way to influence things!! Surely that level of relegation and irrelevance has to be evidence of misogynism in action.

Nah, it’s not. You are though, dick.


5 responses to “No, you are, dick.

  1. Jenn May 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    I am seriously concerned for your/ your readers foreheads. How much time do you spend in face palm position or banging your head against the wall? I swear I developed a small bruise just reading those comments. Painfully stupid and ignorant. Keep writing!

    • tallulahspankhead May 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

      I am sorry for any injury sustained.

      Honestly, for most of these, they just make me laugh. But I am spoonful today. Some days, I have to restrain myself from throwing my monitor through the window.

  2. Qweenkaren May 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    thank you for addressing this article. I thought it was well written & pretty much on the money without attacking men in general & being all “penis-hating”. then I made the dire mistake of reading the comments & seeing how far behind people really are in understanding the lack of equality.
    Still nothing on stuff has made me as angry as a cop who was quoted as saying that women shouldn’t go out after dark – even to put out their rubbish, where he should have said – no person should attack another.

  3. Andie May 3, 2012 at 1:45 am

    After the last time, I know that when you say ‘Don’t read the comments’ that I should definitely, never ever read the comments.

    So I didn’t. Except for the ones that were in this article. And they were bad enough.

    I especially love people who claim that ‘feminism has failed’ as though it was a one-time event and not a constantly evolving work in progress.

  4. annanonymous May 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I’m cynical. I’ve noticed the improvement in the articles Stuff has featured, and I think it’s a calculated move to increase their market share. Feminists will like it, and anti-feminists will like ridiculing it. You get a Daily Mail-style spat, and that lures the punters. At the end of the day, the numerical majority (dicks) get to make fun of the PC-gone-mad, histrionic feminists who are just bitter because we’re fat and no one wants to marry us. They even get to claim a teeny-weeny bit of ‘intellectual’ street cred. They’ve done this before, less subtly: articles that devote 10% to how oppressive it is that women should have to focus on their bikini bodies, and the next 90% to how to obtain the perfect bikini body. On the whole, I think the improvement in reporting is good – but it’s not being done out of good motives. It’s a ‘marketising resistance’ thing. Sod them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: