Things we liked, or didn’t like, from around the internet this week:
Rebecca Kamm on fatshaming Olympic athletes. But weightlifter Zoe Smith gets the last word on this:
This may sound like a sweeping generalisation, but most of the people that do think like this seem to be chauvinistic, pigheaded blokes who feel emasculated by the fact that we, three small, fairly feminine girls, are stronger than them. Simple as that. I confronted one guy that said “we’re probably all lesbians and look like blokes”, purely to explain the fact that his opinion is invalid cause he’s a moron. And wrong. He came up with the original comeback that I should get back in the kitchen. I laughed.
Still on the Olympics, former “wildchild” Zara Phillips (she had a piercing, for shame!) couldn’t possibly have succeeded on her own merits, but thanks to her husband encouraging her to take her sport more seriously, right?
Meanwhile, what if all Olympic sports were photographed like beach volleyball?
The 10 worst stereotypes of Powerful Women.
On why ‘self esteem’ might not be the cure-all we think it is.
There may be a bit of head-shaking over young girls going to drastic measures to feel beautiful, but we never seem to question the idea that feeling beautiful is a worthy goal in the first place. We should tell girls the truth: “Beautiful” is bullshit, a standard created to make women into good consumers, too busy wallowing in self-loathing to notice that we’re second class citizens.
Lindy West on why you are a feminist. Yes, you.
From i09, Women of the Future – according to 1902 French trading cards.
Charlie Glickman on managing attachment in open relationships.
For example, my partner and I are in an open relationship and one of the ways that we manage that is that we don’t do sleepovers. After a date, we go home, take a shower, and sleep in our bed. That’s because sleeping with someone (and I’m using that word in the literal sense, not as a euphemism for sex) is usually very bonding, especially after having sex with them. Scents and pheromones have a way of increasing connection, so limiting that can keep things from getting entangled.
A complex and personal post on The Pervocracy, on engaging and re-engaging with a kink community:
But the biggest one has been the uncomfortable realization that I have done things for the wrong reasons. I’ve let my boundaries be pushed so I could be “cool” and I’ve pushed my own boundaries so I could be “sexy.” Or I’ve done things that were entirely within my boundaries, but I’ve done them for validation instead of for pleasure.
Being in an open marriage is a lot like being on fire:
I have no doubt that we are committed to each other, because we’re building a life together. Could he fall in love with somebody else? Sure, but our non-monogamous status doesn’t have much of an effect on that fact. He could also decide to run away and join the circus. There are no guarantees in life.
Stella Young talks about having sex while disabled.
I spent my teenage years thinking that I needed to find someone who could ignore my physical body and see my “attributes” – my intelligence and humour, my mad knitting skillz. I thought that the only logical way for someone to find me attractive would be for them to ignore what I look like. It didn’t occur to me until years later that my body is also an attribute.
I realised that I didn’t want that kind of relationship. I didn’t want someone to ignore my body. I wanted someone who’d look directly at it and love it, wonky bits and all.
Isis the Scientist writes lovingly about her brother, and why she supports marriage equality: On why it’s important to stand up and be counted.
I see the love that my brother and his bethrothed share and I can’t see how that kind of love can be wrong, or sinful, or evil. I want to build a bubble around their love and guard it from those that would seek to spoil it with their hate. I want to live in a world where no one wonders or is afraid of how their love will be judged. Where people aren’t kept from their spouses because their love doesn’t conform to the uncharitable interpretations of the laws of an ancient and misunderstood God.
I want my brother and his fiance and others like him to know that I think they are beautiful. I think their love is beautiful and as inspiring as any love I’ve known and that I am committed to protecting it.
I (Deb) admire Isis so much. She’s a tenured scientist at a major US research university and shoe has two small children and she loves bright glittery nailpolish and shoes.
Something fun: The best 100 opening lines from books. The Divine Jane features. Repeatedly.
And something beautiful.