The Lady Garden

Tea and Strumpets

Ten Things I hate about Lady-Hating Comment-Baiting Articles

Paula Joye is well known for her “fashion” “articles”, in which she likes to tell women everything that’s wrong with them, in the name of making them look better. This time, she’s excelled herself at pitching fashion as a “battle of the  sexes“.

I don’t want to comment on the article, except to say that you can pry my leopard print from my cold, dead hands, bitch. But, as a service to you, I read the comments. Because they are brilliant.

First up, James, with my favourite internet comment ever:

Rule number 1: if she is tattooed up, she is not marriage material. Damaged/defaced goods.
To quote FOTLG Oliver, “I think you are confusing marriage with taxidermy”. Two of your friendly Lady Gardeners, at least, are tattooed. I’m damaged goods, certainly, but my men like me that way, James, and you can suck it.
Actually, apparently the men of Australia hate tattoos.
+1 for tattoos. Also fake breasts, most especially when much exposed. Ditto fake tans and large fake eyelashes and too much makeup. You look like those Jersy Shore bimbos.
Sorry, ‘yeah-no’, but I think you are missing a really important point here. You know, the correlation between how women are…encouraged…to dress, and the fact that you think they look like bimbos.
Oops. You know what else you shouldn’t do? Point out that this article just might be sexist.
You forgot the cool word of the day “Misogyny” all the sheeple’s are using it
Sigh. Oh, also, ladies. This should probably go without saying, but don’t be fat.
Saw a trainee checkout worker, size 24? With jeggings tight tee and a skimpy sheer short top just this week. The visual is still in my head.
Not good, and surely the employer should have a word.
I mean, at least if you’re fat, you should have the decency to dress so no one else has to contemplate the idea that you might have a body under that caftan.
I wish I say that to all the overweight women that like to wear them near where I live. Not a good thing to see. Shame they don’t want to dress to suit their figures. And no – black leggings aren’t slimming on those of us that are overweight (and yes I’m unfortunately one of them)
Someone gets it. Thank you Sir. (I mean, doesn’t at all, and wants a cookie for it, but he’s trying. I think. Or trolling. One of the two. I get so confused.)
The worst enemies of women are (1) themselves, (2) other women and (3) women’s magazines. If you are genuine and confident, men don’t really care what you wear. Sure we don’t get animal print but hey, if you look great overall… we don’t care. Have a nice day ladies!
This guy almost gets it, but fails at the last hurdle. And then some more.

LOL – I was in hairdresser recently and commented to wife on how first 1/3 of these mags is all about losing weight & who is thin or lost weight, next 1/3 is about who is fat and gained pounds and last 1/3 is recipes with ads galore all way through for weight loss mixes, pills and other products like makeup & stuff to get rid of cellulite. WTF. How low does self esteem have to be to buy those trash mags ?

Fail – Add the thong hanging out above the jeans like a plumbers crack. Almost as bad as wearing a huge bra with a singlet. Its mens equal to wearing undies over pants.

But again, don’t point out that this article might be sexist – and in fact demeaning to all genders.
The article isn’t all about you Phillip, or you personal tastes and preferences. Nor is it about your mates or most men you know either. It’s just the majority opinion from the author’s sample.The author isn’t telling women how to act, or even what to wear. She is just telling them which clothes don’t appeal to a lot of men.Women take decide for themselves if they want to take any notice or ignore the information.So take your quest for victimhood elsewhere.

(If I go on a quest for victimhood, what do I need to take? A sword, a dragon and a short skirt? No, leggings, right? They REALLY hate leggings.)

Clothes aren’t the issue, it’s who’s wearing them, guys or girls. Muffin tops, cauliflower thighs, camel toes and the trailer park or “heroin-chic” look are NEVER going to be in. Noting worse than seeing a size 16 crammed into a pair of leopard sheen-printed leggings. If you’re overweight, underweight, disproportionate, covered in scars or tatts, then wear clothes that won’t highlight the issue. Wear something that presents you well (as opposed to trying to look the bandwagon part by wearing the latest trend). That’s about it.
YES! Ladies, it’s not about the clothes! It’s about you! And that really annoying way that your body fails to be totally fucking perfect according to whatever arbitrary standard I have decided on. I mean GOD. Don’t you know your job is to look good for me?
And again, that means no, really no, tattoos. Don’t you learn?
I would also add Tattoos. You know the little ones on the ankle, wrist, back of the neck – the ones women think make them so unique, oblivious to the fact that almost every girl/middle-aged woman in the office suddenly has one. And no, the little star you have tattooed behind your ear is not discreet or cool.
Sadly, according to these people,  I am NEVER going to attract a mate. And of course, that’s all I could possibly want.
+1 on tattoo’s, no bigger turn off than a scrag tag.
Perhaps a cigarette hanging out of one side of the mouth goes close.
Fuck. I’m screwed. But it’s OK, I have my feminist friends to keep me company in my long, long, spinsterhood. I’m getting second thoughts about that, though. Cos, it would appear that EVERYTHING is the feminists’ fault.
Men get labelled paternalistic misogynists if we voice an opinion on behalf of women.
Fuck, I wonder why?

8 responses to “Ten Things I hate about Lady-Hating Comment-Baiting Articles

  1. James Butler (@j20r) November 29, 2012 at 9:56 am

    “I think you are confusing marriage with taxidermy”

    Are you kidding? If you must stuff and mount a dead human, a tattooed dead human would be the best.

  2. Law November 29, 2012 at 10:28 am

    That last quote is golden!

  3. MJ December 1, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    I mean, at least if you’re fat, you should have the decency to dress so no one else has to contemplate the idea that you might have a body under that caftan.

    I spat my Coke all over the screen, thanks Tallulah.

    And this damaged goods’ better half is going to pay for her to damage herself a bit more for Christmas. ^_^

    Right, I’m off to pour myself into some leggings and have a smoke.

  4. Elizabeth December 1, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    I used to like animal print a lot, and this has just pushed me over the edge into loving it.

  5. Pingback: The 55th Down Under Feminists Carnival | the news with nipples

  6. Jo December 6, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    These are brilliant. I love that one where the guy almost gets there with the ‘women’s magazines’ thing, and then just doesn’t get the fact that we don’t exist simply to look good for men! Or more specifically, him. *face palm*

  7. helenbalcony December 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    You forgot the cool word of the day “Misogyny” all the sheeple’s are using it

    Apparently, only “sheeple’s” (sic) use punctuation, as well.

  8. canbebitter December 11, 2012 at 4:30 am

    I always see her baiting headlines, resolve not to click, but then something happens, and it’s open on my browser. DAMMIT.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: